Notes For Creators

creative soul surfing

Possibility game: Six degrees of destination

Are you feeling stuck on your forward progress in a vital area?

Here’s a playful concept to help you minimize the distance between where you’re at and where you want to be: The Six Degrees of Destination game.

The thrust of this game is to get you loosey goosey again, so you’re approaching your desire with a flexible mind.

You’re likely familiar with the Six Degrees of Separation meme, that we’re all connected to someone else by six or fewer people. Choose anyone in the world — a geisha in Japan (this is for you Gil), a masseur on the Riviera (for you T-chele) — and there are no more than five acquaintance relationships between you.

In The Tipping Point Malcolm Gladwell describes in detail the clever experiment that brought this concept to life.

(A study conducted by Stanley Milgram asked 160 students in Nebraska to each forward a letter to an individual in Boston. The rules were simple: they were to send their letter to anyone they were acquainted with who might be able to forward it to someone else, and ultimately get the letter to its destination. The number of contacts to get each letter to its destination averaged close to six, hence the name for the phenomenon: Six Degrees of Separation.)

Like the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game, where you seek to get to any other actor in the film/TV universe via the starting point of Kevin Bacon — in six or under associations — the Six Degrees of Destination game requires a starting point: You, where you’re at right now.

If at home, all you need is paper and pencil. If at the office, start up your whiteboards. Or play it in your daydreamy head — it’s all about opening your mind to the possibilities.

In transit can be an ideal setting — I had fun with this today on a long drive. Your mind is already more relaxed there — it’s where you’re accustomed to letting your thoughts roam like buffalo on the open plains.

You play the game like this:

Assume there’s only six major steps separating you from your desired destination . . . What might they be? What feels good for you to act upon? What steps do you want to turn over to Providence (commonly referred to as the Universe now!)?

To play, throw out possible ways you can get to something you want in life.

Include the likely and unlikely. It’s soooo important to include the oddball, because that is the way so very many desires come to fruition. A good example is coming this week in a post on this site: The power in putting it out there.

The Six Degrees of Destination game is best if played quickly — five minutes max — and often. Every time you begin to feel ajeda about blocked progress.

The purpose is not only to open your mind to possibilities that you can act upon, but to also allow for the magic of the Universe (Providence!) to operate. As we all know, optimal operation occurs with a believing mind.

So let’s say you’re seeking that partner in your life. You’re ready for that complement to your own zesty self to arrive. You start where you’re at. Where might this fellow come from?

Since ultimately there’s no separation from you and your desire, it’s best and most enjoyable to leap to the destination point. You and your guy are together. How does that feel? Natural and normal and enjoyable, as you knew it would. Thrilling, flirty, supporting, just right? You define it, so make it worthy fun.

From that point, play backwards . . . . Hmmm, what are six ways we could’ve met?

1. Went to a friend’s house for an event and there he was, hanging out.

2. You signed up for that Pilates class and he was there — better yet, he was the instructor. Better again, he was somebody you’d met before and you fall into an easy, breezy conversation that doesn’t feel complete by the time you reach your car after class . . . you grab a quick bite . . . and one thing leads to another leads to nuptials. This one moved pretty fast — so what? — so did some World War II romances that lasted a lifetime.

3. It feels awkward but you finally sign up for that online dating service, and after five frogs, the sixth is a prince . . . 

4. You participate in a charity walk-a-thon and on the walk you encounter three relaxed and frolicsome guys who share your commitment to the cause . . . now you’ve got to choose between them (or do you?, you scamp).

5. You go to a friend’s house of worship and there he is, looking a little too sexy rascal for synagogue . . . so you sidle up and ask him what in the hell he’s doing there? Though you tame your language for the venue . . .

6. You take a class . . . you go to a singles event . . . you are standing in line at the supermarket and you reach for the same magazine — and neither of you let go, a tug-of-war ensues . . . you break down on the highway and some cowboy, not your type, stops to help, turns out he could be your type . . . you decide to smile at everyone and some senior citizen introduces you to his son, after he realizes you’re not interested in him . . . you are lost in your thoughts at a cafe and stretch out a bit to enjoy the sun while you’re reading; he trips over you on his way to his table . . . 

Let’s pick another subject — since this feels more like a one-step process so far: Meet the dude and the rest is history.

Let’s say you’re aching for better employment, something that taps into your rich vein of personal attributes. Again, you’re where you’re at — enjoy that place, it’s meaningful. Then leap to the end and frivolously let ‘er rip. You’re in some ideal job — you don’t even know for sure what it is — but it feels good, feels right, uh hunh!

Let’s play:

1. You go to the library because you want to research possibilities — yes you can do it online, but something is tugging you there.

2. Who knew the library had all these cool magazines and videos — forget research, let’s just grab some items that call out to you and go home. It’s been a taxing morning.

3. On your way through the parking lot you almost get hit by a car turning a corner in the parking lot.

4. Turns out it’s a nice almost-run-you-overer. She pulls over and apologizes and then asks sweetly what you were doing at the library anyway? And you say, oh I’m looking for my optimal job . . . You both talk awhile . . . and she says, we’re hiring in my office, why don’t you stop by on Monday.

5. There you are, hired for some cool position you’re not even sure you can handle — for more money a month than your Dad made in a year when you were born. (Of course that was different money then . . . . Nevertheless!)

And look at you. I’m so proud. You did it in under six moves. Nice playing for today. Quit while you’re ahead. Play again tomorrow if you haven’t almost been run over by a nice connector sent by You Know Who . . . What . . . Who . . .

So many possibilities for anything. Isn’t the hardest and easiest work just to accept it in your mind?  

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