Notes For Creators

creative soul surfing

The girlfriend addendum

Or, alternate title: 

How Rick revised his list of qualities for a girlfriend after gaining a girlfriend . . . who didn’t quite work out.

Rick and I have a mutual friend, Lavid Dangley (name so thinly disguised it’s like Saran Wrapping his identity). Years ago after a brutal and demoralizing breakup, Lavid Dangley sat down and wrote out a page or two of the qualities he wanted in his next girlfriend. You could also say it was a list of the anti-qualities of his just ended relationship.

He wanted harmony. He wanted easy going. He wanted supportive. He wanted clean living. All the many qualities he hadn’t found in his previous stripper girlfriend, before he became conscious of getting really clear on his desires. (Several years of pain can be a great clarifier.)

It worked. Tracy, his next girlfriend, seemed to walk right off the pages of his ideal list. It was uncanny, as though he’d placed an order . . . .

So enter Rick. After some frustrating years dating he took the same tack. He wrote out a list of desired experiences for his next relationship.

What I love about Rick’s story is this: A woman came along but it was a less than satisfying relationship. Rick didn’t quit the idea of specifying his deepest wants  he doubled down! He took out the original sheet and added an addendum! Adding the qualities he also ached for now that he was even clearer.

And yes, she’s here, in his life now, this more perfect match. Which is why I’m writing this . . .

Note: By the way, this was inspired by a Good Vibe Blog post by Jeannette Maw  Activate: Hot Date. Go there to catch the vibe!

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